coming out of the fog

I have been inspired to start a blog after listening to a debate on stay at home mum's versus working mum's. The lack of respect from either side for the other is pretty mindblowing. There has to be a place for pride in what you choose to do, without belittling the woman who make different choices to you...... Surely!!??

At this stage I will play my cards close to my chest on the subject. This is for one simple reason - I am a stay at home mum who wishes she was a working mum. But I have been the other too! A working mum who wished she was at home with her baby. This I believe to be a fairly common symptom of my generation.I love my baby's in a way that is impossible to explain, any mum will know what I mean. But I am restless, hard on myself and always wishing I was better at what I do. Why is the grass always greener? Am I wishing away my children's formative years? Not always. The feeling of making my son laugh or the smell of my little girl when she has just woken up do equate to pure joy. You see the problem is not with them.... it is with me.

I have come out of the fog that most new mum's going into when you have baby's. In my experience this fogginess lasts about 10-12 months and although my little boy is 21 months old and my daughter is four now I am still adjusting to motherhood! I have been urged to explore Mindfullness. Heard of it? It is the calm and still mind focussed on being in the moment, not meditating and not sleeping. Trying not to think about anything other than what is right there in front of you, I am guessing not the computer, the telly, mobile phone or anything else stimulating. Well, let me tell you, I really dont know if I can stop thinking about dinner, grocery shopping, school pick-ups, washing, playgroup, making bed's, sleep, coffee, nappy's.... for even the shortest period. But I will sign off now and give it a go.